Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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