My nipple is on Facebook.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
