Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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