careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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