So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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