is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
