I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
