I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
