Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
