so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize