the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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