what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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