Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize