marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
