She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
