Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
