More tranny stories later!
if only i could text you this smell
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
