There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize