Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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