you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
