first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
