His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Randomize
