Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
