similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
