We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
