I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
false alarm, still single
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize