if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
