why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
