I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
