he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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