We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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