the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
