I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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