The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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