He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
