You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
