Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
