**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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