shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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