I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
