There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize