I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it glows. i had to have it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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