Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
