He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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