She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize