i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A bitchslap is in order.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
