So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
