I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
