operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
