So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just high enough for therapy.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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