it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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