are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
