BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
