i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
