Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
