I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
