They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
