Where did you get a picture of my penis
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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