Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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