can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
